More of a Physical Being
by thehalfbloodprincess
Summary: After a family get-together at the Burrow, the Weasley women are left alone in the kitchen. Unsure how they entered into this conversation with their mother-in-law in the room, they discuss what their husbands do with them, behind closed doors...


**More of a Physical Being**

The Burrow was quiet for the first time in many hours as the Weasleys, Potters, and the one Lupin sat in contented silence. Stuffed to bursting with Mrs. Weasley's wonderful dinner and James's very large, very decadent birthday cake the only noise to be heard was the occasional scrape of teacup on saucer as everyone sipped their tea.

The children were first to recover from the overindulgence. All thirteen children trickled out of the magically enlarged dining room on their own time to join the blossoming festivities outdoors. Most of the boys were engaged in a game of Quidditch while the girls were chasing gnomes and playing Exploding Snap.

In the kitchen, the adults were starting to stir again. Mrs. Weasley (the eldest one, as there were now many Mrs. Weasleys in the room) began to clear the plates and the men took this as their cue. Ron stood up immediately saying, "Well, we'll just leave you ladies to your work while we men go out back."

Hermione narrowed her eyes and whispered dangerously, "Excuse me?"

"'Ere we go again," sighed Fleur audibly.

Hermione paid this no attention, "What did you just say?" she directed at her husband.

"Oh come on Hermione, everyone knows that women are supposed to do the cooking and the cleaning."

"Because they're capable of nothing else?"

"No, because they're just better at it. You know I'm rubbish at that sort of stuff."

"And what exactly are you good for Ron?" she retorted, "Isn't the man the one who does stuff like, oh, I don't know, killing the spider in the bathroom?"

"Oh that's really nice Hermione," huffed Ron. He turned tail and headed out the door to join the kids on the Quidditch pitch. The rest of the men sheepishly joined him, but not before clearing their plates first.

As soon as the last man was out the door Angelina informed the room at large, "That is the longest that foreplay has ever lasted. Ever."

All of the women in the room stopped whatever task they were doing and turned to look at her questioningly.

"P-pardon?" stammered Audrey, Percy's wife, who had not quite adjusted to Angelina's abrasiveness yet.

Angelina threw down the cloth she was using to wipe the table, "Oh, come on! You all see it! Those two have been having a go at each other since we sat down to dinner."

"It's true," said Ginny, "First you were nagging him that he doesn't hold his fork correctly, Hermione."

"Well, he doesn't." Said Hermione grudgingly.

"And there was half an hour of bickering that ensued," Ginny continued. Hermione couldn't argue on that point.

"Then, Ron was irritated because your elbows kept banging into each other while you were eating," Molly reminded her, "And the two of you made quite the production of shoving each other back and forth."

"Yes, but-" began Hermione, but she was cut off by Angelina.

"Face it. You and Ron express your love for each other by annoying the hell out of everyone around you." She tossed the dirty cloth she was holding into the sink and summoned a clean one from the drawer. "By fighting."

"I theenk eet ees good zat 'e is able to talk about 'is feeleengs, Bill ees not so good at zat," added Fleur as she levitated a pile of clean dishes into the cupboard.

"Oh Ron, doesn't talk about his feelings. He just talks, about nothing," retorted Hermione.

Molly, who was scrubbing a pot in the sink, called over her shoulder, "Oh it's not just Ron you know, all men are like that. They never really know what to say to us. They only know what to _do_ with us."

Ginny and Hermione exchanged looks of disgust at the look of pleasant reminiscence on Molly's face.

"I beg to differ," Ginny insisted, "Harry loves to talk about his feelings."

Angelina rolled her eyes, "Well that's because he's a bit of a mopey, brooding git, isn't it?"

Hermione snorted and Ginny scowled at her.

"Anyway," continued Angelina, "Perhaps not all men, but all Weasley men then. George tries to smooth talk all the time, but what he's really good at happens between the sheets."

Unsure how they had entered into this discussion while their _mother-in-law _was in the room, the Weasley women nodded in agreement all the same.

"Bill ees like an aneemal een bed," Fleur added enthusiastically, "I don't know eef eet ees the wolf een 'im but 'e can ravish me."

"Oh yes," Audrey piped in, "Percy can get like that too sometimes."

Every occupant of the room's eyes widened at this comment. Mrs. Weasley, however, took it in stride, "Arthur is much the same," she informed them, "He may look serious and industrious, but when the lights go out and the glasses come off…"

"_Okay!_ These are my _brothers_ and my _father_ we're talking about." Ginny interrupted, "Before we digress into… technique or anything to that effect, I am leaving."

By this time, the dishes were clean and magically sorting themselves into their respective cupboards. The women finished up their little chat and retreated to the backyard to gather their families together.

When the last of the goodbyes were said, and the Burrow was empty of all extended family, Molly and Arthur headed up the stairs to get ready for bed.

Once tucked under the covers, Arthur whispered, "Goodnight, Molly," and rolled over to place his glasses on the nightstand. When he turned back Molly surprised him with a kiss. His eyes shot open as he whispered, "Hello, Mollywobbles!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Fleur shut the bedroom door quietly as she returned from Victoire, Dominique, and Louis's rooms. She then grabbed a handful of Bill's dress robes and threw him down on the bed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The kids having already rushed inside the moment they got home, Audrey pushed open the door, whipped off Percy's glasses, and pushed him up against the wall.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Angelina hurriedly put the kids in their rooms and returned to George who was on the couch in the living room. They didn't make it to the bedroom.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ron and Hermione were climbing into bed when Ron asked, "So what were you girls talking about while we were outside?"

Hermione silenced him with a kiss and insisted, "Shh! It's better if you don't talk."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry and Ginny went home, put the kids to bed, and then stayed up talking about their feelings for a few hours.

And then Ginny jumped him.

Because those Weasleys… they're more _physical _beings.


End file.
